Networking gets a bad reputation because most people do it badly and make it feel gross.

Bad networking is transactional, forced, exhausting and forgettable. It’s collecting business cards at a function and never following up. It’s talking about yourself for ten minutes to someone you’ll never speak to again. It’s looking at people as ‘marks’, can I make money or do business with this person? Gross. Don’t do it please. 

Good networking is none of those things. Good networking is building genuine relationships over time with people whose work you respect and who respect yours.

The mindset shift

Stop thinking about what you can get from a networking interaction. Start thinking about what you can give.

The most effective networkers are connectors and contributors. They introduce people who should know each other. They share useful information. They show up for other people’s events and milestones. They are genuinely interested in the people they meet.

This is not a strategy. It’s a way of operating and building brand affinity for yourself. And it pays back, consistently and compoundingly(?), over time.

The approach

I see a lot of BDM types go to events and just wait impatiently for the breaks to go an engage with people. My advice is to engage with the content and presenters, get your money’s worth AND by sharing some things about yourself and your work, you give people some intel on you which might help them determine if they want to talk to you. 

When it comes to starting conversation (brutal I know), I’ve always learnt to look for people who are on their own as well and not talking to anybody. It’s easier then trying to barge into a larger conversation with multiple people. Talking to someone around the food or coffee is a natural and pressure-free space to say hi and simply asked what brought them there today. 

From there, keep the conversation on them and once you know enough to determine if they are people you want to connect with then trade business cards / contact details explaining you don’t want to keep them and would rather grab a proper coffee at another time. I always say “I’m in your area all the time, so I’ll swing by for a cuppa”. 

The art of the conversation

Open with genuine curiosity. Ask about their work, not their title. “What are you working on at the moment?” opens a more interesting conversation than “What do you do?”

Listen more than you talk. Most people are waiting for their turn to speak. Be the person who actually hears what the other person says. It’s memorable because it’s rare.

Find the connection. Not a forced one but a genuine point of overlap. A shared challenge, a common contact, a complementary perspective.

Be clear about what you do. When it’s your turn and there should be a turn be clear, specific and brief. Your professional brand statement from Module 2 is what you say here.

End with a specific next step. Not “we should catch up sometime” – that’s nothing. “I’ll send you that article on Monday” or “Can I connect you with [person] – I think you’d find each other useful?” – that’s something.

Following up

The follow-up is where most networking falls apart and where the best networkers differentiate themselves.

Within 24-48 hours of meeting someone significant: send a personalised message referencing something specific from your conversation. Not a generic LinkedIn connection request a real message. Want to really impress them? Try calling them, shows confidence and a true desire to connect and work together.

Exercise

Identify three people in your professional network you’ve lost touch with. Reach out to each one this week with a specific, personalised message. No agenda – just reconnecting.